Friday, 26 September 2008

mmm tasty cabbage?

I will tackle possible the most contentious issue first.

Babsuns.


Up till now, I have been unable to get in and out of the flat as I pleased due to the fact that she didnt trust me with the alarm (and I didnt want to piss her off cos she's mean). This situation climaxed on monday when I waited for an hour for her to return (until 6), at which point I had phoned more than several times to which there was no reply.

I was subsequently invited to a friends house, where I met her 'parents' Sasha and Marina Petrovna. they found the fact that I was a vegetarian hilarious, and proceeded to ask if I was sure I didnt want some soup (which had a lot of meat in), then boozed me.

At about half 9 it turned out that babsuns was home, so I could go back. I was driven home in Sasha's car. the journey went as follows;

1) walk out to sasha's car, he's walking the dog (hilary)

2) dog runs off, generally dicking about. sasha = angry, ('Sit in the car Tom, SIT IN THE CAR!'). a friend with a moustache approaches, rather worried and talking rapidly down the phone po-russki. he grabs the dog and chucks in the back of the car. then comes in the car and turns on loud dance music for me and asks that I wait 5 minutes while he talks to his mate.

3) loud dance music for 5 minutes.

4) Sasha and friend with moustache get in the car and we start to drive very quickly along the most potholey roads imaginable.

5) Sasha stops, and him and friend get out and go into this abandoned looking warehouse. Sasha comes back to keep watch. all whilst in the pitch black. leather jackets.

6) friend with moustache comes out with package, and then says thank you. walks off into the night with package.

7) Sasha drives me home.

It was slightly ropey, let me tell you.

When I finally got back in, it turned out that Raisa had been ringing petersburg, so she had her different sim in. didnt really seem to care. gave me some cabbage and an ice cream as compensation.


This week I have also managed to see Mamma Mia at the cinema. Dubbed in russian, it was surreal, at best. also highly enjoyable with a premixed gin-and-tonic out of a bottle (petrol).

Also went to a classical concert last night, felt very russian.
Am going to try and make a curry tonight.

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

the 16th

well I've been watching russian telly, and let me tell you - there is not a lot of difference. It's just like ours, but on speed.

Several examples;

i) I watched their X-Factor equivalent (trans. 1 minute), and I saw two contestants. One, a teacher in her late 30s from Siberia, whose piece started with a midi soundtrack. She's sitting by a table and her son in a waiter's outfit comes over and pours her a glass of wine. This she then placed on her forehead and began a slow dance around the stage, proceeding into a strange striptease-like series of maneouvres without a lot of grace.

They fucking loved it.

ii) The next contestant, Andrei from Moscow Oblast'. This young man, mulleted and well dressed, plays the accordion. He decided that this was a talent that the world needed to see. He was literally like Slash, but with a polka style rhythm played very fast and all the moves.

Again, they loved it. They wanted more.

iii) 'Zhdi Menia' - Wait for Me. Basically a reality show about people trying to find lost loved ones, but which my babushka decided was hilarious. Lots of midi tunes, people crying etc. At the end of which was an anti-paedophilia commerical, an extremely realistic and graphic anti paedophilia commericial.
The babushka found that less funny. It was rather uncomfortable.

Also went to a the Kizhi island this weekend, on a hydrofoil (lime green). It was really cool, just like something out of 19th century literature.

You can buy gin and tonic in a can (80p). You can buy a bottle of stolichnaia for 4 pounds.



All in all, a great couple of days. I really wish I could upload photos.

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

lololol

Well, I've found the internet cafe. And it is amazing.

Not.

But anyway - I went to this german beer bar the other day and it was amazing. I had a local beer and it was sweeeet.

I dont think I'll be able to upload photos as there is an absence of USB ports ont the two computers I;ve used so far but we'll see. Currently the bab is being well gay and has tried to forbide alcohol. I've decided to fight fire with fire on this one, all out nuclear war.

Its been really sunny the past few days and its picturesque frankly. I've already finished to Kill a Mockingbird, when on saturday I was left locked in the house for five fucking hours while she went to the shops. I really need to sort her out. But have now started Ulysses, which is interesting.

Unfortunately, not alot has happened this weekend. Mainly because not alot happens in Petrozavodsk. Although I am going to a weird old island this weekend where theres all these wooden buildings and stuff (google Kizhi if you're interested). So yeah.

I swear sometimes it feels like a third world country, when I went out on sunday into town, there was a group of fellas drunkenly carousing outside the 'off license' (metal shack) on the way to the bus stop. They were also 'playing' with dogs, mainly in the form of swearing at them whilst trying to kick them. Great stuff. The ballet it wasn't.

Going to send my first letter this week, so hopefully that will reach one of (it will be a surprise). I imagine alot of content found here will have been reproduced there.

nu tak, poka-poka.

Saturday, 6 September 2008

holy shit batman

so this is my first post from russia. I'm currently sitting in Raisa Iakovlevna's (the lady I'm staying with) living room with a computer from circa 2001 (which I've managed to connect to the internet).

I'm now finally in Petrozavodsk, which is er nice, after flying to Riga, training it to Petersburg and then another overnighter to Petrozavodsk. I didn't sleep properly for 3 days, and some points I was so tired I nearly slept in a park (I didn't).

Riga is boring, I mean, really boring - I advise everyone never to go there. There's a nice old towny bit but its quite small. My mate John who I travelled with recommended Vilnius (in Lithuania) instead as its less touristy and theres more old stuff.

Now- onto the good stuff. My first day in Russia was possibly the scariest day of my life, apart from the first day at school, but with more people shouting at you in Russia. I think me and John got told off at least 5 times, maybe 6, between us (various things like not having exact change, going the wrong way, making eye contact etc - for example when I asked to go to Ladozkskii Train Station, the lady behind the window looked at me as if I'd shat on a kitten). Indeed, customer service and politeness are not big things over here. I mean - really not. But once you've been shouted at by a scary old lady with a hairy face in the fastest Russian possible several times, you get over it. I've developed a look to give them when they do this.

Petersburg was scary as hell, but incredibly beautiful in the 'historic centre' (photos to come). We saw the Church of the Spilled Blood (which is what you see on postcards, and is phenomenal) and the Kazanskii Cathedral, the main bits and pieces. Literally an area of 5 square miles I reckon is just those massive buildings you probably saw in Goldeneye with the bit in the tank. Cool as.

The train to Petrozavodsk is potentially the sweatiest travel experience I've ever had. The provodnitsas (stewards) would continually close the windows we opened (they have their reasons) and the doors to our cabins, creating small, private and uncomfortable furnaces for us to sleep in.

We arrived in Petro at 7am, at which point we were introduced to our khoizyainkas (housewives) and we were taken away to our respective homes. Again with the hyperbole, but have never felt so apprehensive as we hurtled towards Raisa's house in a banged up taxi at half 7 in the morning. The plethora of potholes and small wooden cabins I saw on the way there did little to alleviate the fear.

The entrance to our block was not a surprise, it smells like piss and b.o. with a slight hint of butter. Someone from my course here has defined it as the 'smell of Russia'. I think she's probably right.

Thats it for now.

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