Friday, 10 October 2008


the past week = mental.
so we'll start at the start.

Last Friday, we meet as usual in the park by the lake for good times. We play charades with the Russians. Hilarity ensues. It is as normal.

But then, at 11 o'clock, my friend Izzy gets a call from her newly-adopted mother asking if she wants to go to Petersburg tomorrow morning. I am also invited. We drunkenly say yes. Go home about 1, off my tits etc.

6 am next day I get a call 'Tom are you still coming to SPB? We're going now.'
Still halfcut, I say yes. Meet family in car fucked off tits. We go to Piter in the Qashqai.

5 hours later we arrive in the suburbs. What was the plan, you may ask. Taking in some of the world renowned sights of Petersburg? The northern bridge between Asia and Europe supposedly... Peter the Great's European masterpiece, which houses some of the world's treasures in art and what not.... Oh no. We went shoppping in the suburbs. We went to Ikea. In Russia. In Petersburg. Pissed out of my face.

So we arrive, and me and Izzy are taken to a fairly big mall. I mean, like I didnt think malls were bigger than this. And we shop. Went to an underground market thing. At about 12, we're by a kiosk and Sasha suddenly has a brain wave. Goes to the kiosk and comes back with 4 cans of gin and tonic. He has a small one, he's driving.

Then its decided that we want to go to the really really really big mall. So we take the free bus. However, in the crush (serious crush) to get on the bus, someone nicks my phone out my pocket. Essentially, I was pickpocketed. Yes, thats right. I was pickpocketed. It happened to me.

Luckily, the little shit only took my phone. So it's all gravy.

We arrive at the huge mall. And we go to IKEA. And then we get more drink and get told off by the security guard for drinking on the premises. And then we shop more, get some provisions and set off home at 7.

About half-way there, it is decided that its time to eat. So we get out of the car, in the middle of a forest. In Russia. And I make a toast to friendship in Russian whilst drinking 'cognac'. Also told a joke, which they loved (mainly the swearing).

The next day, I'm taken to the megafon office to get a new sim card, phone etc. Then we go back to theirs and carry on drinking. It is decided that me and their currently absent son, Sergei, who's currently in the army, will be great friends. Also that me and Sasha are playing football soon, and that we are going for a haircut as well (mullet).

Last night, me and Izzy are walking back to the perevalka (where we live) and who pulls up just as we're getting to hers but Sasha and Marianna Petrovna. I am instantly invited inside (despite the fact I want to go home) and we start drinking this cognac that Sasha's bought.

4 drinks later, we've finished the bottle. So me and Sasha go the supermarket to get more. But we dont just get more cognac, we get cognac, balsam (their local drink), more salad and massive tub of ice cream. And we get home via the mobile dance party that is their Nissan Qashqai, and carry on. Bearing in mind the fact that I've had 2 days off uni from a cold, I was fairly drunk by this point. At 11 however, the fun stops because Izzy was going to Petersburg again, and therefore needed to be taken to the station. I'm walked home by Sasha with the dog, Hilary.

However, this morning I felt amazing. Tomorrow, haircut.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I miss you Thomas Rowls. Come back to us.